elements of hypocrisy
I’ve noticed a certain amount of religion bashing in my last couple of post (it was extremely subtle, so you might not have noticed it yourself). It started pretty much when I had to write my article about Christian Fundamentalism. Since then I’ve got to thinking about religion again. Even bought a book about the subject entitled ‘Why I’m not a Christian’ by Bertrand Russell. (We all prefer reading material that supports our position, rather than oppose it, though admittedly I should pick up some other material so as to maintain at least a shred of objectivity).
I think mainly the religion bashing comes forth from my concerns about how much sway religion holds today and why that worries me. Its partially anger and partially fear as I see what power these institutions from another century still hold today. I guess its largely because I’m very liberal in my views and have trouble with people that cling to conservatism (after all, the churches are doubtlessly a corner stone of the conservatism’s cause.).
I can’t help but feel the hypocrisy of the conservative views. Today they will fight change, believing that everything as it used to be is better, and then tomorrow, when the change has been fully established those same conservatists will fight ferociously to maintain the very thing they originally opposed.
Sometimes I just have such trouble understanding why they oppose something in the first place. Today there’s an
article in the Guardian with the title ‘Pope warns feminists’. Apparently the pope believes that it is terribly that feminists suggest that women and men are equal. After all, genesis in the bible clearly states that they are not and that clearly makes it so. (I imagine that when people first gathered to create and tell that story they hadn’t realised that a few thousand years from then that story would be used to suppress women the world over.)
The Vatican has in recent decades become a relatively mainstream religious organisation, with relatively liberal views in comparison to what else floats around out there. Now if they oppose sex equality I wonder what other people are willing to do? Kill, apparently. Based on the Koran people in some regions have gotten it into their heads that women should be stoned to death for showing flesh.
If God really wrote the scriptures then why did he make it so ambiguous that people can quote it in the name of evil? Where is the greatness of god in the Crusades, or in Jihad, or in opposing research (like stem cell research) that could potentially heal and help millions of people?
Interesting fact: Since the United Nations was founded in 1945, there have been 140 wars.
the doubt principle (one)
Now I’m feeling slightly better, so I might be able to talk about something slightly more interesting (or at least understandable). Lets talk about doubt.
Two days ago Krist, a guy from my office, and myself started a discussion about science. We came to the conclusion that doubt is essential for us human beings. Its what kept us alive in the stone ages (and still does today), it is what drives technological innovation. Its what drives reasoning, its what drives learning and its what drives our understanding of ourselves.
Only by doubting can we grow to understand. If we accept something as a given (like gravity, say) then we will never explore it further. Only when we accept that we might not understand gravity fully (i.e. doubt our understanding of gravity) might we improve our understanding.
All well and good, but then a major institution comes along and says ‘do not doubt, for we have the answers’ you can probably guess what institution I’m referring to, that’s right, the church. (any organised religion, actually, but for now I’ll refer to organised religion as ‘the church). The church suppresses doubt. Do not think about these things for this is the answer, for we have them here already.
The church even teaches its followers to not question their faith. They consider it wrong of outsiders (like myself) to try to get other people to question their faith. That, they believe, is tempting the devil.
Yet we had just concluded that doubt is essential for human progress. What’s up with that? I mean, yes I can understand that you can’t go through life doubting everything every single moment of your existence, but shouldn’t the fundamental questions always be doubted? Wasn’t that what gave us the ability to survive? Should we leave it behind, simply because ‘they’ say so?
More thoughts on that soon.
Family Guy
So I finally managed to expose Shazam to the wonderful world of ‘Family Guy’. It had taken me more then a year to convince the bugger. He loved it. As did everybody else that I had put slightly less pressure on, but that still came and enjoyed. (Sandra, Eda and Shazam’s sister, who’s name I have once again forgotten).
They came over to my parent’s place, as they are gone for two weeks, and enjoyed watching seven or eight episodes back to back on a projector with only a break for steak sandwiches. Steak sandwiches with cheese, lettuce, tomato, egg, mayonnaise, curry sauce (western) and baked unions.
Family guy is a brilliant show, for those of you that haven’t seen it. It’s the Simpsons for the year 2000. Its also wonderfully absurd, which I personally really enjoy. These brilliant ludicrous skits that normally don’t make any sense, but are hilariously funny. I’m not really in a state to sell it to you right now, so the best I’ll be able to do is say ‘watch it, its worth it’.
Today I’m groggy as hell, so rather then torture myself with finding something to talk about I’ll just stop now and talk about something more interesting later.
Interesting fact: according to Super Size me McDonalds provides 40,000,000 meals a day across the world. That’s enough meals to feed ten times the population of Singapore, every day.
Movies and bibles
So we went to I, robot last night. A story loosely based on Asimov’s book by the same name. I was very pleasantly surprised by the quality of the story. It was well put together, original and entertaining. There was even some good twists. Will smith, the main character, put down a pretty decent performance.
The really humorous thing, however, was Shazam’s reaction to the movie. He said it was 95% excellent and 5% Will Smith. For some odd, inexplicable reason Shazam has a real problem with Will Smith. Something about him being smug and irritating. Now I don’t have a problem with that, but he does.
Its interesting how we all have an actor we really don’t like, for no clear and apparent reason. Shazam has a problem with Will Smith while I have a problem with that dweeb who plays spiderman two, Tobey Maguire. I believe he has the acting talent of a twisted piece of scrap metal. Why? I don’t know, that’s just how I feel. What ever he does on the screen annoys the piss out of me.
Then Liana has this problem with Tom Cruise. Just as inexplicable, but non the less omni-present where Tom Cruise is concerned.
Where does this weird feeling come from? Is it a memory from when we were younger? Is it something to do with the fact that we
have to hate somebody on the big screen? Is it some sub-sonic sci-fi alien attack with jellybeans? I don’t know (though I do admit that last one might appear just slightly conspiracy theory material).
Maybe its all, maybe its none, maybe its skittles. What interests me more is whether everybody experiences this. Does everybody have some actor they don’t like? Something to think about.
In the mean time there was a comment by Jeff! Lim (the not yet legal spelling) asking me how I know the bible has been edited. There are two interesting examples from history that I would like to raise. Unfortunately I’m too lazy to look up their exact source right now, but I promise you that they are at least partially based on truth.
The first is an example where they did an experiment, I think it was in the 1980s, where they took a number of Jewish scholars (I believe it was a hundred) and asked them to translate the Hebrew old testament to English. They asked them to translate the meaning of the bible. The reason they did this was because books fade away over time and thus had to be copied from one old book to a new one, time and again (before the printing press this was the only way that books could be copied).
Very well, the scientists then compared the 100 different translations, all meant to translate the spirit of the Old Testament, and found that none of them agreed. They all translated the book differently as they believed that different things were meant and/or intended.
Interpreting the bible was something that the monks spent all their lives doing. They lived in their monasteries and debated the meaning of different passages in the bible. The rest of their time they would often spend copying the book for extra money (this was one of the few sources of income they often had).
To prove this fact they found a very old bible in a monastery in Germany (if I’m not mistaken) that was handwritten. The interesting thing about it was that it had over a dozen ‘corrections’ on every single page, where the monk changed something because he thought it read better or sounded better that way (or had originally been intended that way).
Many of these modifications were found in then modern day bibles. A third example (yes I was only going to mention two) is easy enough. Just pick up two different bibles of two different Christian faiths and compare. These largely different books came forth from the same source. Only one of them can be right, yes? Now you tell me which one.
Interesting fact: In early monasteries dirt was considered holy and the monks actually referred to lice as ‘the pearls of god’. Not only that, but there are actually written boasts about how long monks could go without their feet touching water. (crossing streams and rivers was ignored for this boast).
Response to a response
Wow, I got two comments. Actually three, if I read the comment in the chatterbox as well (which I will as it wouldn’t do to ignore my second most faithful reader to date). So I’ve decided to be a real dweeb and use today’s blog entry to respond to those posts. Why? Because if I comment on another person’s blog I want them to respond to me, so I imagine that these people want me to respond to them (oh yeah, and I’m too lazy to actually think of something original to say).
First off to (now legally) Patricea Chow.
Yes, I completely agree that I missed out humour in my short of the cuff list. Interesting that I did, seeing as I would like to think that one of my more potent weapons in my limited arsenal of language. Of course the operative word is ‘think’, which I don’t do very much anyway.
The problem with humour is that you generally need to be an exceptionally good writer before you can use humour well. Its necessary to cut away superfluous words, make the meaning clear and really condense down what you are saying until you get what you are trying to say. Its all about delivery and the punch line. Since I do not edit and I do not actually read back what I have written that makes humour hard to use.
The only humour I can actually use to any extent is absurdity. That’s because absurdity is easy to use. (its really easy to compare two things that can’t really be compared. Like, for instance, quall eggs and pink floppy dildos) Unfortunately absurdity is a very mainland European thing (as I discovered recently when looking at the laugh lab) which might put my sense of humour slightly outside of the mainstream in Singapore.
As for Jeff Lim’s comment, thanks. I don’t know what else to say than that, really. I don’t think there really is a need to say more. Sometimes we should just learn to take a complement for what it is and learn to shut up, rather then talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking. You know what I mean, right? Sometimes you just start wishing you hadn’t given them a compliment in the first place. I hate it when people talk too much. Actors, actors talk too much. Get up there on the stage and talk away at you, as if you came to see them, right? I mean, seriously. I just came to see the cute blond chick with the big breasts. (Only time you can ogle a woman for hours without getting slapped) Who goes to plays for the dialog? If I wanted good dialog I would talk at a mirror. Alright, never mind.
That reminds me one of those things that women do that I will never quite understand. One woman says to another ‘nice scarf!’ and then the other says ‘thanks, its Armani’ and then the first woman has to again say something like ‘oh, its beautiful!’ which she already had, the first time, but then in other words. Two points about that A) why does a piece of clothing become more beautiful when its from an expensive brand and B) what would happen if somebody said the ‘thanks, its Armani’ bit and then you just said ‘oh’ and walked away?
As for Loobz and bush. I don’t really know what more to say. Actually I know a lot more to say, but I don’t want to sit here all afternoon and type away on this blog. All I will say is that it is frightening that a man who believes that bringing back Christ requires the Israelis rebuilding the temple of Solomon in Palestinian territory rules the states. Its even more frightening that is current policies clearly point that he’s trying bring this about. That is why state and religion should not mix. Believe what ever you want, but don’t screw with international affairs by trying to push your beliefs on the rest of the world.
Crazy fact for today:
They found traces of cocaine in thousand years old Egyptian mummies. The strange thing about that is that cocaine used to only grow in the Americas during this time and Egypt is in Africa.
Blogging Gimmicks
Lets talk about gimmicks. I haven’t spoken about gimmicks in a couple of days, so today is another good day to talk about it. Ok, spent a bit of time looking at pages and this is what I’ve come up with so far:
1.
People like pretty.
If there is a definite thing that seems to help people out it’s that a pretty page keeps people in longer. Run of the mill pages that use standard templates have trouble keeping people in. The trick is getting people to read. If you can’t even get people to seriously read any of your page then it doesn’t matter how interesting your writing is.
2.
We likes what we knows
Stuff that talks about stuff we are interested in always helps. So blogs about movies, politics, movie stars or goat dung will generally do better then blogs about, uhrm, well, stuff that people are less interested in. (use general interest words to appear on google)
3.
Tell us a story!
Continuity, flow and a clear time line seem to be appreciated by many. The slow progression of time and the twists and turns of daily life interest people more than, say, disjointed nonsensical brain farts that have in common only the fact that they come from the same ten fingers.
4.
Knowledge is power
If people don’t know about your blog then they are going to have a real problem reading it. For that reason its important to be mentioned on other people’s blogs. You can write oh so pretty and oh so well, but if nobody hits your page then nobody views your page, cappuccino?
5.
Language as a scalpel, rather than a club
Check your spelling, grammar and sentence structure. There is nothing more annoying than people who spell things wrong. Its so easy to spell check! Why do people still not do it? (Oh yeah and if you think that cutsie way of writing, with Z instead of S and you screw around with caps and all that, your wrong. It isn’t cute, its annoying and, if I really think about it, you should die horribly, but that’s my opinion.)
So what does that mean? How much of my own advice do I follow? Pretty much none of it. Will I implement these self discovered ‘truths’ about blogging? I really can’t be bothered. Instead I’ll start posting up useless bits of trivia at the end of my blogs. I promise they will all be true, I should know as they all came from my grandmother’s friend’s cousin’s shopkeeper’s pet hamster’s droppings. Really, they told me once when I was tripping on the adrenalin glands of a virgin donkey. Here’s one:
Pigs can’t look up
Polls
So the democratic convention has started in Boston, USA. For those of you that don’t know what it is, it is basically the place where the democratic party says ‘we support John Kerry’ and then, surprisingly enough, John Kerry is supported by the democratic party.
The most important thing about the convention is that millions upon millions of people watch it. It’s a chance the reach millions at the same time and that’s what makes it so important (that’s also why a lot of famous democrats talk there, which is why all those people watch. Self-fulfilling prophesy).
Two polls I want to mention. First off the polls in the US now point out that Kerry is trailing Bush by two points. That’s bad considering that a month ago Kerry was ahead. It means Bush still has a fighting chance (albeit a small one with such a low approval rating).
The second and far more important poll is actually made up of two polls. They are mentioned in the Guardian (click
here) but I will sum up what they mean right here.
They mean that for the last two years American foreign policy has absolutely destroyed their image in the Middle East. Approximately eighty to ninety percent of the people in Egypt, Saudi Arabia, etc. disapprove of US foreign policy. This despite millions of dollars invested into the ‘hearts and mind’ campaign.
This slide in respect is affecting everything in the Middle East. Its affecting their opinions of American culture, of American actions and American people. Worst off all its affecting their opinions of the worth of democracy. The current attempt to bring democracy to the Middle East is backfiring dramatically. That’s terrible. The world’s superpower is creating an embittered enemy control 90% of the world’s oil reserves. The rest of the world will be torn between American ideas and Middle Eastern ideas and more war, death and pain will certainly result.
If there should be any topic of real importance to the American election it should be this. Bush is creating unreasonable hatred, both at home and abroad. He might not intend it, but that’s what’s happening.
I don’t hate Bush, I fear him. Bush the divider, Bush the bumbling fool, Bush the best ally that terrorism has ever had. He has managed to do for terrorism what Osama never could. He turned the terrorists from a fringe group into a mainstream movement.
-Anon.
Don't argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience
Pakistani people
Liana has been good enough to write a full-fledged report on everything we did in BK. Great, that means I don’t have to. Anyway, I imagine that her report covers everything a hell of a lot better then I ever could, after all she’s an editor with years of editing and writing experience, you would imagine that since its her job, she’s good at it.
Now if you want me to write you a piece explaining how to operate the toaster then I might come in useful. Or maybe not yet, but at least in a couple of months. After all that’s what I will be doing, that’s how my skills will be put to good use.
Well at least at the end of my days I’ll be able to say ‘due to me nobody got electrocuted using P accessories’. That is, unless I make a really big mistake and get lots of people electrocuted. Oh yeah, and somebody figures out it was me and tells me about it.
Which isn’t all that bad because then at least I can say at the end of my days that I got a whole lot of idiots electrocuted.
Why do I assume their idiots? Because only idiots would use the manual. Real men don’t use manuals and real men don’t let women come near electric accessories. As Liana has demonstrated time and again, that’s not just stupid, it’s dangerous.
(I’m not a sexist! I just happen to know that men are fundamentally better than women!)
Just finished reading the Da Vinci code. Can’t have been all bad seeing as it took me all of two days. Do have to admit though that it wasn’t as good as everybody painted it to be. Though most people agree that the really amazing thing about the book seems to be that a lot of the ideas in it are really real. That is something I’ll have to look up on the internet.
I sometimes wonder if in future decades they are going to use the mental farts that go up on this page against me. Probably, idiots often manage to mistake my sense of humour for honesty. I guess if you set out to provoke other people somebody is bound to provoke you right back at one point or another. (Fortunately I have an uncontrollable temper, so I’ll probably tear their heads off, which will doubtlessly shut them up)
Somebody from Pakistan has been looking at my page. Or, at least, the person is accessing the internet from Pakistan. They might be French for all I know. Why do I tell you this? Well, because it seems to be one of the few recurring guests I have. It struck me as interesting that somebody from Pakistan would visit my site. But then, who am I to say what a Pakistani person does or does not do? I know about as much about Pakistan as I know about Lubricants. (I’m not completely naïve about lubricants, I know they are very useful for gay men and, oh yeah they can be useful for cars too).
So, to that person accessing the Internet from Pakistan. Hello! I hope my meaningless waffling has amused you on occasion and please don’t hang me by my balls from the back of a school bus destined for Antarctica wearing purple socks (I don't mind purple, to tell you the truth, It would just be extra bad to be wearing purple socks).
Hey, it could happen.
Bangkok can't blog
So I’ve been gone to Bangkok for the last couple of days, if you’re wondering why I’ve been so quiet. In case you weren’t wondering why I’ve been so quiet that doesn’t change where I was.
Lots of things to talk about but I’m not sure if I want to talk about all of them. Lets just start by saying it was fun. Drank a lot (too much) talked a lot and saw why people should not be drunk continuously. Had some great food (the Thais know how to make food so well, its so unfair. It just makes me so aware that though the Singaporeans might be good at a lot of things they aren’t very good at cooking).
I always consider street food a good measurement of how good people in a country can cook. Yes, everybody with enough money and a few good connections can start a good restaurant, import a good cook and offer great food, but if the street food in a country is good that demonstrates far more about their culinary skills.
Street food in Thailand is brilliant. We ate so much. If we weren’t drinking, we were eating and quite often we were doing them at the same time (though admittedly it is quite difficult to chew your food when you have a beer bottle in your mouth.)
I think I’m still hung over. Or is that depressed? I’m not sure, I’m listless, unfocused and groggy. Is that hung over or depressed? I’ll just say its hung over as that will go away in a couple of hours.
Hypothetically if I were depressed than where would that come from? Probably from the job that I hypothetically don’t like very much. I’m still having serious hypothetical trouble settling into this hypothetical hell hole. Hypothetically I imagine me moving over to write technical manuals for another department isn’t helping a whole hypothetical lot. I just hope I get to play around with the newest machines that haven’t been released for the public yet (the hypothetical future models, if you will).
I think I’ll just write some more later. I have a lot of catching up writing to do, as there really are some cool things to tell, I think I just need to get over my hang over first.
(I just realised I didn’t drink a drop yesterday)
What the numbers mean
So we put up Liana’s sitemeter only a few days ago and she’s already gotten more hits than I have. So I guess that means we’re both right, she does have ‘faithful readers’ while I do have ‘an audience of two’.
Cool. That means that few people learn of my daily debacles, a blessing in disguise, I say. (This blog is mine, mine! None of you matter! Bwhahahaahahh!!!!!) It does get me wondering what it is that makes one Blog more successful than the other. Is it the style of writing? Is it the pretty graphics? Is it what is written about? What makes a successful blog?
One thing seems to stick out. The gimmick. Every good blog seems to have a gimmick. Blogs that people like have to be out of the ordinary (in a good way) they have to be special, they have to talk about things that don’t occur to normal people. They have to have an element that few other blogs have.
Exceptionally good texts, or they have to be about a person with an unusual job, or life, or friends. Or maybe it’s a blog about the life other people would like to lead. The
‘Baghdad Blogger’ Salam Pax. had a good remark. ‘Make sure you’re in a warzone, that’s sure to get people reading, though there is the chance that somebody will drop a bomb on you’.
I’m not sure I want people to drop a bomb on me. I think Liana’s Gimmick is an amazing network of friends that are slowly learning of her Blog. That and she has an exceptionally good talent at bitching in written form (which people like, as it makes them feel better that somebody as beautiful, clever, smart and brilliant as Liana can have bad days too (and its always fun to read a good bit of bitching)).
Whats my Gimmick? Good question. I don’t think nonsensical rambling fits into the Gimmick category (people can go to school for that) so then it doesn’t really seem like this blog has one. Yet.
I don’t think you can force a Gimmick. I think its something that either naturally develops, or it doesn’t. I mean, you can go look for trouble, but it will be hard to write a Blog when your dead (though if you could, /that/ would be a good Gimmick).
It’s interesting to think about what draws readers and what doesn’t. It’s a bit like trying to figure out what draws customers and what doesn’t. There is another correlation that’s important. Drawing the ‘customers’ isn’t enough, you have to get them to read/ buy two.
Of course I could be wrong. Maybe reason people don’t come to read my Blog again is because they just don’t understand the convoluted ways of my cobwebbed mind. That wouldn’t be terribly surprising and that would probably be healthy (come into my world, said the spider).
Enough musing on this topic, back to work.
Bunions and Onions
So far I’m proud to say that I single handedly more than double the number of hits to this site. Yes, my two daily visits contribute about half of the people that come through here. I was right! Now we’ll have to see if Liana was right as well, as she’s also put up a counter (though hers is hidden away at the bottom of her site where most people wont stumble across it).
I had a bit of strange anomaly going on where people seemed to be coming to my site from Xanga sites, but I fixed that up right easy. It turned out that people were still hitting my old blog and that somehow got counted into this counter (the reason being that this counter was simply moved over here).
I’ve noticed a disturbing trend in recent days. It is no longer possible to unsubscribe from free things on the internet. I’ve tried unsubscribing from my sitemeter so that I could use my normal E-mail address for this new site and that didn’t work (that’s why I had to move it over). I also just tried to kill my old blog and that didn’t work either.
I guess it comes down to these sites that offer free services being able to tell advertisers that they have ‘this many subscribers’ despite that fact that nearly half of their accounts are inactive or duplicates since nobody can delete them. Its not exactly lying, but it is a bit deceptive.
So we met Shazam’s mother yesterday, which was an interesting experience. She was a very interesting women though she did enjoy telling us stories about her cataracts and arthritis, which didn’t really have me jumping for joy (Mind you, I know they are out there but I’m not really sure why I have to reminded of that just before dinner (which was excellent, I might add)). Well, at least she wasn’t talking about her bunions or her frustrating weakening of her anus muscle.
She made Sri Lankan food, which wasn’t terribly surprising seeing as she was actually Sri Lankan. The rice was oh so fluffy and the chicken was hmmm hmmm good (where did that come from?)
As always I’m supposed to be working right now and as always I haven’t done terribly much yet, though I did do some riddles. This one is brilliant:
“This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to how quickly you can find what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. You can study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd with it. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.”
Tell me if you figure out what’s wrong with it.
Fanatics
So I spent a couple of hours researching on the internet yesterday and I came upon an interesting fact. George Walker Bush is a fundamentalist Christian. No, I know that that he is, but he actually /is/ a fundamentalist Christian. It has to do with the religious group that he belongs to. A section of the Evangelist church is considered fundamentalist Christian. Apparently the word fundamentalism was created to describe a group of Protestant Christians in America that wanted to return to what they claimed were the ‘original teachings of the bible’ in the early twentieth century.
It was a counter movement to the rise of science in religion. As people began accepting that evolution was probably true and we did evolve over the millions of years that the world has existed there was a group of Protestant Christian (in middle America, mainly) that went ‘its not true!’ and they now firmly believe that the world was created in six days less then 5000 years ago. This religion mainly popped up in middle America among preachers that are and were not considered Christian scholars.
Then I found out something else: Bush is a member of this religion. As are other members of his cabinet including Condoleeza Reeze and John Ashcroft (that’s the guy who’s restricting gay and women rights, in America). Christian Fundamentalism accusing the Islamic people of Fundamentalism.
I love irony, wherever it crops up, though I do have to admit this one scares me a bit. The man of the self proclaimed most powerful country in the world believes that God is playing an elaborate prank on us with his dinosaur bones and that there really was a guy called Noah who built a boat on which he kept two of every species (never mind that the proportions listed would hardly be enough to keep just the different species of elephants, let alone the other six million species in existence today (I wonder how he kept the termites?(and what did he do to feed all six million of them?))).
So that is going to be mentioned in my article. Fortunately that’s not all as Expat magazine apparently was talking more about semi crazy Christians and their crazy ways (like Paul Hill who killed the abortionist doctor John Britton because he was pro life).
Alright, this you have to read.
at the bottom is the explanation for why Einstein is an idiot, according to some complete Christian moron. Apparently he argues that if Alpha Centauri is really four light years away then that must mean it is travelling at 24 light years a day. This, according to him, clearly disproves Einstein’s theory. /Why/ is Alpha Centauri travelling this fast? Well, because it has to be revolving around the earth, of course, as earth is at the centre of the universe (what they call the Heliocentrism Model).
Its amazing that people are able to reject thousands of years of scientific advancement and instead want to rely upon a 2000 year old book that has been edited beyond recognition through the ages.
It is so hard to stay objective as I’m writing this article.
Huh?
So I’m supposed to be writing on my article. Naturally the fact that you’re reading this means I’m not. No harm done yet, though. Hopefully jabbering away on my blog will inspire me soon enough and I’ll ram a worthy article in just under an hour. Oh, I read an article this morning about how pigs /can/ fly, after all. You just need a big catapult and they don’t do it for long (after which you have a lot of bacon).
Never mind. If I can type here at a rapid speed I imagine it should be possible to type on the article at rapid speed as well. Of course it never works that way. As soon as you have to write something that little bastard in your head can’t help but speak up and say ‘that’s not good enough, oh yeah and your breath smells of dog shit.’
He says that a lot, the I’m not good enough bit, I mean, not the dog shit bit. The dog shit bit is only ever mentioned after I’ve had an alcohol induced black out. That’s ok though, as long as I’m not going to jail and I don’t remember it doesn’t bother me. I just pray that the memories don’t actually ever come back to me.
Went to have lunch at this little café in the middle of the jungle. They had good curries and it was nice to get out. Specially considering that yesterday Liana and myself spent the entire day indoor sniffling, sneezing and pissing each other off. Needed to get out of the house and piss other people off for a bit. Did alright at that, there wasn’t actually any people to piss off so I had to make them up. Guess that staff thought I was a bit weird screaming at thin air, but hey, its not like they had the pick of the litter in terms of customers. I guess part of the reason they didn’t might have been the fact that the place was in the middle of the Singaporean jungle (no I didn’t actually make that up, there actually are bits of jungle in Singapore they are just not very big and mainly serve as public toilets.)
Maybe I should actually edit through my posts on here. It might make everything up here more understandable. Though I’m not sure that’s a good thing. Not many people want to get into my sick mind. After all, the echo would drive them crazy.
Tomorrow I’ll have more time and write something more interesting. Like my article. Can’t talk about that in here yet, of course, as I still haven’t quite figured out what I’m going to talk about.
I better go figure that out right now.
Religion?
So I’ve managed to catch the same bug as Liana. Not surprising, really. We always do get the same illnesses. Must be the toothpaste. Took a half day leave yesterday (as I might well have mentioned) and went to see ‘the whole ten yards’. Liana feeling guilty the whole while because she thought she should be at work, yet knew she was useless. Yada yada, the whole shebang. I don’t think I even want to talk about it, go look at her blog for a most enjoyable rave about work, life and me. Guess I’m not the perfect boyfriend, thank god for that, it would be absolutely horrible to be the perfect boyfriend. You would have no time left for yourself! Or any money, for that matter. I’m also semi-allergic to pollen so I would probably end up sneezing all the time cause of all those bloody flowers and all.
Not that I’m not sneezing enough, I think I’ve got a bit of brain in one of my hankeys. That’s all right though, I prefer thinking with my dick anyway. Easier, less effort and more predictable. ‘Hey look at that’ ‘is it a woman?’ ‘No…’ ‘Wake me up when it turns into one’
I guess people might look at you odd though when your pelvis is always the first thing to enter the room. I guess that’s still a step up from being gay and thinking with your ass. It would give you a damned crick in your neck having to look over your shoulder all the time.
Still supposed to be working on my Christianity thing. Not working too well so far. Can’t seem to get my mind around this god thing just yet. The only thing that I’ve managed to conclude is that if I can get away with it I’ll have to put in the quote "Dear Lord, please save me from your followers"
Its quite funny, I just did a search on that quote on the Internet to find out who had written it and I ended up on some Christian’s website. The site talked about how the writer had seen that sticker on somebody’s bumper sticker and how sad they felt and how they wanted to reach out and touch that person and make them feel better.
Exactly the type of person that the car owner wanted to be saved /from/ wanted to reach out and help them out. Ironic. Also interesting that this writer had absolutely no concept of the humour and irony that this statement was meant to evoke.
There was directly talk of how this person must have been hurt by faith and need healing and help. The implicit assumption being made that a person that does not want anything to do with God’s followers must be unhappy and scarred rather than just irritated and annoyed.
Why can’t strongly religious people understand that those of us that don’t believe or believe differently can actually be happy, satisfied and comfortable in their own lives? I accept that strong believers can feel that way, why do they then have to dictate how I have to behave?
Alright, never mind, going on a bit of a rant. I guess all I’m trying to say is:
‘If you believe, that’s fine. I just really don’t want to hear about it. I don’t believe in loving my neighbour just so that I can get into heaven. I’ll love my neighbour because I want to and because I think she’s cute. I will do good because I want to do good. I’m not in it to score heavenly brownie points. So thank you, but no thanks.’
Rings and rounds
Liana was having a go at me last night for not giving her her birthday present early. I bought her a ring with her together and ever since we got it from Tiffanies she has been drooling, jabbering and lusting over it. Last night she had her biggest go yet where she must have spent a good half hours telling me that she should have it early and that she should certainly have it before next week Thursday because on Wednesday everybody would give her her gifts and it wouldn’t do for her not to have hers.
I said no, no, you’ll get it on Thursday. This went back and forth, back and forth. Her telling me that it was already hers and me saying to her that she knew what she was going to get so all I had left was when she was going to get it. Basically it was one of our half serious spats which have no real meaning and are more fought for entertainment than for the actual sake of getting our way.
So I gave it to her last night, or rather, gave it to fondue to hold. Apparently she screamed very loudly when she found fondue (her stuffed mouse) holding it. Though I didn’t hear because I was downstairs. I said I would give it on Thursday so I did.
That story would have been a whole lot better if I would have actually been feeling better today and been in the mood to tell it.
So, back to the topic of Christianity. Didn’t have time to do any serious research yet on the topic though I do have this site from the
Traditional Values Coalition which is all about restricting the rights of citizens all across America because they are a little bit different from them (its nice how fundamentalist Christians are so forgiving and welcoming to others, isn’t it?)
Maybe I’ll write some more later, when I’m more up for it. Taking a half-day leave today so I’ll have a couple of hours to recover and consider what I want to write about, if you’ll excuse me till then, I would be much obliged.
Site meters and secret shortcuts
Second post for today, that’s rare I know, but two details have to be mentioned since I posted this morning (maybe it would be a good idea for me to post later in the day.) Anways,
Firstly: There is now a hit counter on this page. Finally I can prove to Liana that nobody actually visits this page (rather than philosophising about it and getting no where.) Yes, they are watching you and they are after you (and I’m helping them). Just for you information, this site meter tracks where you go, where you come from and how long you’re here. Not only that, but it also marks down your IP address. If a silly little free program can do that then ‘they’ can do much, much more. (If you don’t believe me, click on the site meter icon to the lower right on the sidebar and find out for yourself). If anybody else wants a site meter this is the addy. http://www.sitemeter.com (hard, huh?) Its really easy to add though I find it easier to just cut and paste the java applet info at the end.
Secondly, I have found a sneaky way to glance at this page from work occasionally. I stumbled upon it by accident, but it works. I’m going to try no jeopardizing it, but if you do decide to comment I can now read it once again (joy). Of course indirectly that relates to point one above. If nobody visits, nobody comments.
Lastly, Don’t even think about refreshing this page a dozen times to make my counter go up, I keep careful track of you tricksy bastards and will most certainly exact swift vengeance upon you.
(Another post lost to the psycho babble that is the internet)
Christ!
Next Tuesday I have to hand in an article entitled ‘Insider’s guide to fundamentalism Christianity’. Or at least, that’s what I understood. So, for the next couple of days you’ll be seeing some entries
about fundamentalism in Christianity as I gather my data and, no doubt, find out sordid details that I had not been privy to before my search. I mean, I know a fair share of sordid details already and I have a pretty good idea of where I want to go with a good chunk of the article (gay marriage seems to be something worth mentioning) but I would like to broaden the horizons of the article beyond the borders of the US because, frankly speaking, I’m growing rather sick and tired of the world’s sole superpower’s bumbling incompetence.
Its not that they mean to do any harm, they just do. The government doesn’t want to be controlled by large corporations that lobby for bad deals and desire bad products, it just is. That’s what capitalism created. Things that are bad for you are cheaper to create and more interesting than things that are good for you, thus those people have more money, thus they can push for better policies for themselves.
It’s like that quote that goes something like “If somebody does something to you and it can be ascribed to malevolence or incompetence, chances are its incompetence” can’t even figure out who that’s by today.
So I’ll have to look beyond America. Probably look into the Aids fight in Bangkok right now (don’t use condoms, it might safe your life!) though that, once again, involves the US of A.
Mormonism, now that’s something I haven’t discussed in a while. That’s always good fun (though again American, boy do all stupid Christian things come out of the US?) Oh, interesting fact about the Mormons. The founder of their religion Joseph Smith (what an original name) apparently admitted that he had been lying about the two tablets he found in the US on his deathbed. He admitted it because he was afraid of god’s retribution when he died. Of course that’s just a rumour but partially substantiated by new
findings that support the idea that the book was written in the 19th century and not when Jesus supposedly crossed over and revealed himself to the Americans after his death in Europe. Of course that doesn't shake the Mormon faith. After all faith is all about continueing to believe something as true despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
Except more of these nonsensical tidbits over the next couple of days. Now, back to work before my tiny boss comes after me with a big axe.
I’m supposed to be really busy today and here I am writing my Blog. We can all see how dedicated to my work I am. Never mind, its only 9:30 so I still have about ten hours of work ahead of me and (I reason to myself) once I’ve got this Blog out of the way I wont feel like I have to write for it anymore so I can concentrate on work a whole lot better.
The lies we tell ourselves to do exactly what we want to.
Life update: So it looks like I’ll be moving over to another department of Philips where I’ll be writing technical manuals. Wow. I hear you guys all gasping and growing yellow around the gills in Jealousy. (Big J). That, of course, has always been my dream job. Oh well, at least it pays me money and money (if you ignore swimming) is the only way I’ll manage to get out of this god forsaken place. (Its not really that bad (oh yes it is))
Money, funny little thing that, I bet when they invented that back in the stone ages they never imagined it would end up ruling everyone’s lives. ‘Hey wouldn’t it be useful if we recorded down what you owe me and then I pay you back when my sheep’s wool comes in?’ ‘Yeah, ok’. How we now all wish that that second bugger had said ‘get lost you cheap twat, no sheep’s wool means no deal!’ I guess it must have sounded like a good idea at the time.
Liana has been doing a lot of Zen like mediation on her Blog. Trying to determine whether she is putting too many details on there, making it too personal, considering how many gits are out there yankin’ off on her stories (What, don’t believe me? There are! I’ve seen them! Every time my colleagues go to lunch and I’m alone in the office…). She worries that she might be revealing too much of herself. I don’t think there’s a problem there, she keeps her stuff pretty low profile but it did get me to think about the crap I put up here.
What am I really telling about myself besides the obvious (i.e. I should be shot as it would do the world and me a favour, it being a mercy killing and all). I decided that it wasn’t much. First off, my grammar is probably so off that nobody grasps what I’m trying to say (and that’s ignoring the fact that I generally don’t know what I’m trying to say) and secondly, since I utilise no smilies, or other ‘emoticons’ I imagine nobody has any idea when I’m serious or not. Something I’ll be able to use in my own self defence in later years (let me out! I didn’t mean it!).
I guess there is a definite advantage to writing whatever strange thoughts pass through my anal passage.
Oh yeah, I was supposed to give more life updates. Oh well, this entry is already carrying on a bit, better just let it trail away and die somewhere alone and misirable ......................... (this is it trailing away) ................................... (Just a little more) ............................. (argh!!!!!)...
Hell's Recruitment
I’ve noticed something decidedly odd about HR people. They are a separate breed from us normal humans. They act differently, behave different, have different ideas, beliefs, priorities. They are an interesting species to observe, especially now that I’ve been a part of their culture for nearly two and a half months and they are slowly starting to believe I am one of their own (I feel a bit like that researcher that lived among monkeys and was slowly accepted into their clan).
One thing I’ve noticed, above all, is that HR people seem to be very proper. They don’t seem to drink, smoke, go out or skive. They just seem to do their job. Truth be told, almost all the people I have met that are in HR seem naturally, well, boring. The few exceptions that I’ve come across have almost always seemed to want to leave.
I guess you would have to become boring if you realize that you’re stuck in a dead end job that isn’t going to get you anywhere useful, really. I mean as long as they are HR they will always be supporting cast. They will be one of the thousands of extras that roam around doing their little bit, while never getting centre stage unless there has been a real f*ck up. (in which case nobody /wants/ to be centre stage).
(“Hey, Charlie screwed it up big time, cost us millions of dollars!” “Must be HR’s fault, they hired him”)
While they never get any credit for the big thing. Its not like when the big boss clinches a billion dollar deal he mentions them in his thank you speech.
Maybe the word is uptight? Knowing how high you can go in the company is pretty limited and that there are dozens of other girls (HR is always predominantly female) vying for the same position. I guess they have to be careful if they want to get promoted anywhere worthwhile.
I wonder if they ever think to them selves ‘I wish I could get out and do something exciting, like cook rice’. I mean people don’t talk to them unless they are complaining about something. More money, more leave, less work, better benefits, more education, nattering about small print. I imagine some staff just use HR to bitch at (Oh sorry, this is HR! I honestly thought it was the bitch number! My mistake, give me more money.)
Alright, this isn’t going anywhere useful, I might write something later, I still have some more interesting stuff to talk about. I actually had some revelation about HR, but I’ve forgotten it since then. I think it was something like ‘we should try to be nice to them, its not their fault that they are lesser life forms’. You think they would be insulted if I told them that that is what I’ve decided?
Good impressions and gullibility
I imagine I’m making a really good impression at this time. I’m supposed to be in a meeting somewhere in Philips right now, but unfortunately I don’t know where and with who. This is a bad meeting to miss as it’s about a prospective six-month contract in another department.
The person that does know who I’m supposed to meet is in a meeting and refuses to answer her phone. She probably gave me slightly more details then I’m aware of, but from what I remember her saying on Friday I can’t figure out where I’m supposed to be. Only when and that is more then an hour passed.
I ran around and tried getting the name through some other way, but it didn’t work. Going to talk to my dad’s secretary only yielded one glimmer of hope and that is that somebody that might be responsible for this is on half day leave. So that could mean she didn’t show up and it’s not my fault.
I thought I remembered that the meeting was supposed to happen over here. That doesn’t seem to gel with my knowledge of people that are higher up in the hierarchy (they always prefer you coming to them, right?) but that’s what I thought. The fact that she’s not here, of course, seems to suggest otherwise.
Oh bugger.
Didn’t write over the weekend as some of you may well have noticed (Liana claims there’s more than two of you and says I should stop ‘fishing for compliments’, which wasn’t a very nice thing to say of her, but I’ve already slapped her about a bit for that (always good to train the knuckles)).
That’s not because I didn’t have anything to say, but because I’m a lazy bastard. I had, so to say, more important things to do. What, you ask? Well I had a really good nose picking session on Sunday afternoon, which I really didn’t want to surrender. My thumb was so far up my nostril that I couldn’t stop just then (I finally managed to get past the knuckle).
Seriously though, we just hung out and ate food. Went to Holland Village twice once on the sat and once on the sun to have our lunch. Bummed cigarettes from a friend under the guise of being helpful and generally made nuisances of ourselves.
We also went to an outdoor party on Saturday night, which was good by Singaporean terms. I.e. in most ways it resembled a high school organized party in other countries, except then with adult music (which was really good). The setup was really good, though. Somebody had pumped a lot of money into making sure the grounds were secure, cooled (outdoor air-conditioning, hard to think of anything more wasteful) and well stocked with beer, booze and security. Unfortunately the turn out was a bit small and very boring (the boppers, as I like to call them).
Good news, while I was writing this I was messaged and informed that my meeting has been rescheduled for later today. Lets hope I can still get the job otherwise it will be Liana’s knuckles which will get a bit of training (I’ve always thought I look good sporting a couple of bruises (silver lining)).
Right, I’m off.
3 + 6 = Feb.
So I might still have a job at ‘the company’ ant the end of this month (can’t say their name on my Blog apparently, as that upsets them and gets me blocked). Another six months in another department. I’ll be working on technical manuals, according to what I understand. It probably won’t be the most exciting thing I can imagine, but it does mean that I can start saving away some money for travels. Its also about how long Shazam said he would need before he could employ me, if I want to work together with him.
Its probably a good thing, though it will obstruct my freelance writing plans a bit. I’ll somehow still need to get my ass in gear and write more. It might not pay so well, but if I can demonstrate to people in other countries that I freelance wrote for a number of magazines on a continues basis then they will hopefully be duly impressed and allow me to write for them.
That reminds me, I’m supposed to talk to Henry. He’s recently been promoted to ‘acting editor’ of FHM and he said they were shorthanded. He said something about possibly reviewing some books for them. That will mean reading a couple of books (I haven’t read any material that’s come out in the last half year, so I imagine I won’t have read any of the stuff they want me to read) as well as collecting the latest issues of FHM and reading how they normally review. Need to stick to their style (that’s what Liana taught me).
It seems that my sense of humour from when I started this blog has faded these last couple of days. Its more of a factual detailing of what I’m doing in my life. I wonder if that’s interesting. Probably boring as hell, but that’s what happens when you join a company like… the company. You become boring like hell.
It might also be because I’ve gone out every single night of the week so far. Not late, mind you, but out. Always things to do, people to see, rumours to hear. Talking about rumours, Liana’s revenge plans are steaming ahead. Hopefully she’ll keep us all updated as to how mission ‘slanderers slander’ is going.
Do I have anything else to say? No, not really. Leave it at that, maybe I’ll be able to find a worthwhile quote later. Till then.
Four points
A couple of interesting things to talk about today. Two of them related to the world, a third all about me. (That might sound arrogant and self centered but this
is my Blog, so I do get to do with it what I want) and a fourth about me and Liana.
That last one just came in over the phone, so I’ll start there. Apparently there is some girl here in Singapore who is, for some reason, trying to slander us. She spoke to Liana’s colleague, unaware that she worked with Liana, and told her about some event last year or this year where we behaved in an offensive manner (by being sticky chewy) and offended CEOs, managers and all that sort of thing, after which we were never invited to such an event again.
The even in question was last year June or July and was in honour of the launch of the Manhattan card. Now the interesting thing is that we’re both pretty sure that we didn’t go there. Things get more interesting, however, as in after that there was apparently a letter sent out from this girls office demanding an apology and the expat office then issued that apology. This is bizarre because something like that would have come to Liana’s attention (nobody in the office is very good at keeping secrets) so it seems damn unlikely that that ever happened.
Yes, that means she’s slandering us. I think its time that a real letter of apology is written. So, for that matter, does Liana. I’ll keep you posted on our progress.
Secondly, I wanted to remark about John Kerry and John Edwards (aka the Johnies) deciding to run together. This should give an interesting spin to the American race for the white house. I know it seems pretty unimportant this many months before the elections and as far away as I am, but still. I like keeping track of nut cases and their chances of being re-elected to one of the most powerful positions that this world has to offer.
Then there is this interesting
bit about the same re-election campaign. Apparently the rumour is going around that Bush has now twisted the war on terror for political gain. Apparently the white house is pushing Pakistan to pursue the terrorists within their borders, despite the chance that that might lead to civil war. That’s not too bad, but apparently they are to release information about the terrorist’s capture on the days that the democratic party is having their convention in Boston, to take the lime light off of them and put it back on the white house. In other words, they are using the war on terror for political gain.
Now most of us already knew that, yet its still chilling to see this type of rude manipulation. The US offering special trade agreements, better weapons, nicer toys to a country that is responsible for nuclear weapons ending up in then hands of fanatical nutcases just so that Bush can win another term in office. In other words they are willing to do anything, including evil, because they are so convinced that they can do more good than the democrats (We must do evil, lest we become evil).
Lastly, and least importantly, the rumour is apparently going around that I have been nominated by Juice magazine as the ‘dude of the month’. They better give me a million dollars. If they do, I’ll celebrate and give you all a peanut. Of course I don’t even know if its true yet, as I haven’t read the Juice magazine, so it could all be some malicious lie aimed at bringing my hopes up. I have to admit it has always been my life long ambition to become Juice magazine’s dude of the month. My life is purposeless now, maybe I should aim slightly higher. Like solving world peace.
Little to say
Nothing truly exciting happened yesterday so it looks like I’ll be forced to stick to another meaningless ramble for most of this entry. Not that I mind and nobody complains so I guess that’s all fine.
First off I would like to remark that it looks like Liana and my mother will be losing their adopted cat. The real owners (the people next door) look to be leaving, according to my dad, so they will probably take the cat with them. Of course that isn’t completely sure, as so far we haven’t actually seen the cat go home in close to two weeks. They probably think he’s dead, which would be good because I think that Liana and Cora would actually miss the fat bugger.
I like cats, but they make me sneeze.
So far the short stories I’ve been trying to write haven’t worked out at all. There is just so much to my universe that I can’t seem to decide on what to do. I think what I need to do first is decide on a nice short story to begin the process off with. Spoke to Big John about story bundles last night, like those done by HP Lovecraft and Stephen King.
We discussed how nice it was that some stories were all interlinked with similar characters from different stories knew of characters from other stories. That is partially the plan that I had in mind for my own story. With things done in one short story having an impact in what happens in the other stories. I still haven’t told you anything about my story yet, have I? Well, not going to start now.
I’m supposed to go talk to my boss today about possibly getting another contract or not. If she chooses the ‘or not’ option than I have to start looking for another job real quick. Can’t stand the idea of being unemployed yet again. The last time that happened I was more than a little depressed. That depression, in turn, caused me to not look for work. I’m just not very good at looking for work.
Can’t let Liana be stuck with the bills yet again. That wouldn’t be fair. Can’t imagine doing any more then another three months, though. The Philips atmosphere is still absolutely not what I want.
Oh yeah, have to go register a company. Better try to do that soon. Maybe I can get a work permit through my company, then I can work for other’s without too much trouble. Alright, going to go eat, lament at you soon.
Rumblings
Read the Guardian this morning and found an article about an interesting blog that I thought I should share. It’s the life of an ambulance driver in London and it apparently has quite a following. I thought it was an original blog that one or two (i.e. all) of you might find exciting (I get to keep saying this kind of nonsense until I’m proven wrong (you can see I’m not a scientist)). The site is called
Random Acts of Reality and it might be worth a read, after all I might write about projectile vomiting, but that is more it’s theoretical application, this guy has actually seen it in action.
Now that I think about it, I might have heard his aids story somewhere before (apparently some bloke with aids vomited blood and (surprise surprise) vomit into the writer’s mouth and he there was a chance had had been contaminated as well). If that would have happened in a movie people might have complained and said it was impossible, or cheap, but real life gets to be pretty cheap. Real life, license to be cheap.
‘Sorry, we’re going to have to call a halt to this bit of your life, its not suitably melodramatic and its completely predictable, can’t have none of that, can we?’
‘So how did the audition go?’ I hear you shout. Well it went pretty well, apparently my acting gears aren’t completely rusted together. They asked me if I had time at the end of the month to take part in a few days of shooting (which doesn’t mean I’ve got the gig, but means they might consider it) unfortunately I had to tell them I didn’t. My stupid contract doesn’t end till the very end of the month. It would be fun to act again. Haven’t done it in too long. Of course the money for acting here in Singapore seems to be pretty lousy, but then that wouldn’t be the top reason to do it. It would just look good on my CV and it would extend my experience in TV.
It would also give me an even better idea of how film works for if Shazam and me ever get going on the Sunrise project (another reason to get out of this contract stuff). If I would get involved in TV then I will need a laptop, so that the 90% of the day spent waiting can be used to write some freelance stuff.
It’s all about money in the end, isn’t it? Can’t stop making money now, its far too useful and making our lives far too pleasant. The job isn’t even that bad, I imagine lots of people do a lot worse. Uh oh, I think the corporate shark just got a hold on my leg.
Maybe if expat would let me write a full-featured article every month then I could pursue other paths. At 40 cents a word I would only have to write a couple of thousand of words to come close. Of course the only big drawback on that is that I would have to wait three bloody months before they would pay me. I think I’m just still too inexperienced to work freelance full time.
Spider man, snider man
Tuesday morning, went to see spider man 2 last night and wasn’t disappointed. That, of course, wasn’t very difficult because I was expecting it to be really bad and it was just slightly better than that. The effects were good, the villain was good, the computer graphics were well done, but for some reason some idiot thought it would be a good idea to use Toby Maguire again. Though admittedly I did get some laughs from his goofy angry face and his troll like strained face I found his overall acting appalling. He had three dozen and two sappy scenes opposite Kirsten Dunst, who can act a little better (watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind to find proof of that) but couldn’t help but make 2/3rds of the movie look like a two bit romance novel.
Now I know that Spider man is a comic book hero and they needed to use elements from that, but couldn’t they have looked to the Hulk for some ideas? At least that was a good movie that had me well entertained. There the cinematography gave a really comic book feel without there being a need for mass projectile vomiting on behalf of the audience. Alfred Molina (who played doctor Octopus) was good, it was just as shame that his character couldn’t be the main one or, at least, they couldn’t have had him win. If we could have seen Toby Maguire in a terribly bloody and mangled death scene that would have made up for a lot.
Audition
Alright, tonight I’ve got to go to this new theatre company who called me up out of the blue to ask if I wanted to audition for them. If they like me they would put me in the books.
Apparently they got my details through a guy that appears on stage and tv here ever so often called Garret Hoo. Or, at least, that’s what they said. Maybe they stole his phone and are now calling up all the numbers on his phone to get them to come down for auditions. Seems unlikely, but you never know. George Bush as leader of the free world (as the American’s seem to believe they are, the arrogant bastards) seemed pretty unlikely and now they are even considering him for a second term.
Sorry, drifted into politics there for a moment, trying my hardest to keep this blog relatively politics free. Can’t have me ranting and raving all the time, can we? That would serve no purpose.
I’m still spending too much time reading politics, I think. Especially since I doubt anybody would be really interested in hiring me as a political advisor, commentator or expert. My education doesn’t really seem to suggest that I would excel in any of those areas and I don’t really have many connections in politics at this time in my life. Still, if it interests me I should do it, right? (Better not tell that to any pedophiles)
Back to the audition thing. So I haven’t actually acted in the last two to three years, nothing serious. Took part in a TVC, hosted some music show pilot that looks to never take off (or if it does, without me, anyway). My friends say I’m constantly acting in one way or another, but I don’t think that was meant as a compliment.
Have I mentioned that I got a letter into the Today paper? I did and I should actually publish it up here. I’ll type it over somewhere soon (as they only gave me a hard copy and its been considerably edited from what I sent them). So that all of you that read this blog might enjoy it. All two of you.
I think it is seriously becoming time for me to put a hit counter on my website, just to know for certain that there really is only two of you. For all I know there might be absolutely nobody reading this thing. Not that it matters, I’ve given up trying to become famous through my blog and have decided to write it, instead, for my own future enjoyment.
I’ll become famous in other ways, like by assassinating somebody important. I think I already have somebody in mind. Funny that he’s protected by the same acronymed people that used to form the elite German troops during the second world war (the SS in case you didn’t understand what I just said).
Birthdays and tact
Time to do some more online mumbling. First off Richer Hooker has started a blog www.drkananga.blogspot.com here at Blogspot. You should definitely read it as it holds great wisdom. Of course that’s according to you and we might not all agree. That’s what being human is all about, right? Disagreeing (I originally thought it was al about great sex, but after reading many great philosophers I’ve changed my mind, they must be right, right? After all, they lived hundreds of years ago, just like Mohammed, Charlie Chaplin and Jesus).
As you can probably guess I don’t have terribly much to write about. Went to a luncheon at McDonalds yesterday in order to celebrate my girlfriend’s niece’s birthday. About ten kids and 30 adults drifting around (extended family). Heidi (the niece) was dressed up as a little blue fairy with glitters and all that. She tried to run around and have fun, but unfortunately she was too busy being asked to pose for pictures. Her mother alone shot more than a hundred pictures of which the majority were of the little birthday girl. Add in that the rest of the family also wanted a picture and I imagine she had about 150 picks snapped of her. (Lets imagine that every picture takes about seven seconds to snap. That means she had to pose for about 1050 seconds which comes to a grand total of 17.5 minutes. Which means she spent approximately 1/6th of the time there posing, did I mention she’s a full four years?).
So, after yesterday I’ve come to conclusion that at the young tender age of four birthday parties aren’t for the children, but for the parents. They could be for the children, but they aren’t for the simple reason that the parents are far too busy storing away memories so that they can later share the pictures with those children at a later age and other unsuspecting family members. Then, of course, they will have to tell everybody what a brilliant time they had and others will have to nod wisely and agree, what ever their true sentiments might be.
Tact, they call that. Of course the line between tact and lying has always been a little blurry. Not that I didn’t have any fun, it was most certainly amusing. As for the question whether Heidi had any fun, it doesn’t really matter anyway, as at the age of four proper memories aren’t stored away yet anyway.
Sick of homesick
Its been a busy week, which isn’t bad, because it means that they can’t kick me in the nads too hard when I’m done here and looking for an extension of tenure. Its also been semi enjoyable as we’ve been trying to put together a presentation, which requires communication between myself and other parties. This is good because it means that I get to talk to people rather than just sitting behind a screen and staring at it. I’m a social junky.
Even my lunch hour has been busy these last couple of days because I’ve been trying to finish this bastard of an article for
the Expat and it went like shite.
It was probably mainly because I just couldn’t get the hang of the bugger. It was all about homesickness and this was fine, but for one little detail. I don’t get homesick. The last time I got homesick was when I was four or five and I ended up screaming for my mummy. Since then I’ve always enjoyed the company of my parents, but I’ve never been homesick. I’ve been too busy exploring the facets of this new place that I would call home, even if only temporarily.
This meant that I couldn’t write about it from a personal point of view, so instead I had to write it to somebody. For non-writers this might require a bit of explanation. When people write they write too people. They do this automatically, imagining in their mind’s eye who they are writing to. When they write a letter to a friend its easy, they imagine the friend. In this blog I imagine either Liana or myself as the main target. When you’re writing to an audience of several thousand you still need to write to an ‘individual’ be this an individual in that crowd (average joe, or Liberal cynic) or a friend, etc. When I was writing this bastard of an article I couldn’t help but get some dumb American fourty year old chemically blond bitch in my head. It was horrible, how ever much I tried to write for somebody else she just kept coming back.
It frustrated me for days, I just couldn’t get a good story on paper because I was always writing it to this stupid person whom I really didn’t want to write to. Somebody I considered annoying in her belief that anywhere outside of the US sucked and somebody who wouldn’t give some place where her family wasn’t at a chance. In my time travelling with my parents I had seen several of these women and they remained incapable of getting used to a place because they spent more than half their time visiting their families back home. It drove me nuts!
So how did I solve the problem? I wrote it to these women’s poor husbands. The husbands that are trying to make a career abroad, but can’t because their stupid bimbo wives keep whining about going back home. I wrote the article in the hope that these guys could then get their wives to adapt and get used to a foreign country so that these men wouldn’t be stranded in some backwards little village in the middle of hickland all their lives.
Different kinds of humour
New person to work with. She seems more capable then the other bloke from Monday, though I can’t be too certain as she might just be lying. Her English isn’t the best in the world, not that that shows anything, but it does mean that talking to her is slightly less enjoyable. She’s from mainland china, close to Beijing, in case anybody wonders. (I didn’t till somebody else asked).
One interesting thing did already happen. She was doing something on her computer and I asked her for some info that was supposed to be open. I closed some page and behind it was some page about a hand phone. An internet page, in other words, not related to her work. ‘Is that yours?’ I ask and she answers, very quickly, ‘no’. I hesitated for a millisecond and then decided to drop it.
What I could have said: “Oh yeah, we do have a bit of a midget problem” or “Pretty amazing that AI stuff now adays, huh?” or “damn, me and that annoying nervous twitch”or “Oh yeah, right, its mine, sorry I also seem to have lost my purple veined floppy dildo, have you seen it?”.
I didn’t say any of that, I just wondered why she chose to say no. I mean geez, its not like I actually cared that she was looking at another page, I do it pretty much all the time, but why say no when the answer is obviously yes? Maybe she has an even more twisted and weird sense of humour then myself, though I must say Chinese humour does not normally tend in that direction.
Never mind.
